


if you don't know

by yourinternetkid



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Realistic, Realization, Y/N meet 5SOS, a shit show, but one you might wanna read, cause you might get something out of it, if you don't know then just let me go, it's written kinda stereotypically but i did it on purpose, self exploration, they're very nice, why am i like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 13:22:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10537350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourinternetkid/pseuds/yourinternetkid
Summary: you never thought meeting four boys from Australia would lead to this // if you don't know then just let me go





	

**Author's Note:**

> then just let me go

You still couldn’t believe it. After months of saving you and your best friend finally had enough money to buy concert tickets to see 5 Seconds of Summer on tour. You’d never gotten to see the boys live before, but from the grainy fan-made videos and tour diaries you’d watched on YouTube, you knew that the concert would be one of the best nights of your life.

It seemed like with each passing day, time only slowed down as the concert date drew nearer and nearer. By the time the day of the concert finally arrived, you and your friend were practically buzzing with excitement as you drove towards the venue.

“Michael’s going to sing ‘Jet Black Heart’ and I’m literally going to explode,” your friend groaned as the familiar song began to play. You spent the majority of the drive scream-singing along to the boys’ many songs, anticipating a night full of dancing and fun.

You were almost to the venue when your car beeped at you, signalling that you needed to stop and get gas. You pulled into a little shopping center with a gas station. You were just finished filling the tank when your best friend shouted at you from inside the car.

“Hey (Y/N), there’s a Starbucks across the street. Let’s stop and get something before we go to the venue.”

You shrugged, “Sure, sounds good.”

“Feels good,” your friend grinned, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

The Starbucks had a large sign advertising that it had a drive-thru, and while your friend jokingly told you to take her money, her keys, and drive the car through the drive-thru (please), the line was so long that the two of you decided to just park and head inside to order your drinks.

“I’ll take a grande passion tea sweet-sweet lemonade please,” you ordered, fishing around your bag for your wallet. (Y/F/N) had already ordered and was using the bathroom while you waited around for the both of your drinks. You finished ordering and leaned your hip against the side of the counter as you played on your phone. The Starbucks was virtually empty besides a few haggard looking people on their laptops, so you didn’t see any problem with taking up the space there.

You were watching 5SOS’ latest updates on Snapchat when the door to the Starbucks opened. You were so enthralled by Ashton’s dimples and Calum’s accent that you didn’t bother to look up from your phone; you just kept watching the videos quietly and smiling to yourself. You had just switched to Instagram to see if the boys had posted anything there when a familiar voice broke your train of thought.

“Hi, could I get a grande passion tea lemonade please?”

Your eyes whipped up from your phone only to fall on four tall boys huddled around the cash register. Your mouth dropped open in disbelief.

There standing only a few feet away from you was Ashton Irwin, Calum Hood, Michael Clifford, and Luke Hemmings of 5 Seconds of Summer, the very band you would be watching that night.

“Holy shit,” you muttered, and felt your cheeks grow red with anxiety. You quickly looked down at your outfit, straightening out your clothes and running a hand through your hair. You’d dreamed of this moment for so long, but never thought it’d happen to you. You had the opportunity to talk to your heros, and you were not going to waste it. You watched as the four Australians payed for their orders before heading towards where you were stood to wait for your drinks.

Ashton smiled at you politely as he walked closer to the counter, and you felt your heart pound with nervousness. This was it: you were going to say something to Ashton Irwin- to all of the 5SOS boys. You couldn’t mess this up.

“Hey,” you spoke up, smiling nervously as you waved a hand awkwardly at the four boys, “or hi. Hi or hey. Uh…” You trailed off, and the four boys looked at you uncertainly.

“I’m going to your show tonight,” you continued, hoping to salvage what had been an awkward beginning, “I, uh, I love your guys’ music.”

“Aw, that’s great,” Ashton grinned turning to put his full attention on you. You looked over his shoulder to see Michael looking down at his phone, Luke smiling awkwardly, and Calum looking at you politely. “Thanks so much for supporting us. It means the world, really,” Ashton continued, still smiling, “What’s your name?”

“(Y/N)” You said shyly, and Ashton smiled.

“It’s nice to meet you (Y/N).” He said, and the other boys behind him mumbled in agreement, still looking more focused on their upcoming drinks than on the conversation between you and Ashton.

“It’s nice to meet you guys too. If you don’t mind… could I take a picture with you?”

“Of course!” Ashton grinned, and you couldn’t help but giggle as you opened the camera app on your cell phone, turning it to selfie mode and standing next to Ashton. You thought that maybe the other boys would join in on the picture, but they didn’t move from where they were standing. You took a few pictures with Ashton before stepping away from him and looking at the other three boys.

“Uh… could I have a picture with you guys as well?”

This time Ashton took the cellphone from your hands, holding it up as you stepped closer to Luke.

“How are you?” Luke asked, and you smiled.

“Honestly, really good. I’m really excited to see the show tonight.”

“Good.” He smiled before opening his arm, inviting you to step closer to him for a picture. Your hand hovered against his back- you didn’t know if he would be okay with you wrapping your arm around him. Ashton took a few pictures before Luke stepped aside and Michael took his place. He complimented you on your boots and gave a tight lipped smile to the camera before Calum took his place. The bassist was pretty quiet, telling you that he also liked your boots, before turning to face the camera. Ashton took a few more pictures before handing you back your phone. You could feel that your cheeks were still pink with blush as you thanked him for playing the part of photographer.

“It’s no problem,” he grinned. “So (Y/N), where are you from?”

You kept up some small talk with Ashton until your order was announced. Ash laughed a little when he realized that you had both ordered the same thing. You grabbed your tea just as your friend stepped out of the bathroom, her eyes widening at the sight of 5 Seconds of Summer standing unassumingly in the middle of Starbucks.

They went through the rounds again: introductions, pictures, and a little conversation before your friend’s much more complicated order was called. Even though the two of you had received your drinks, you didn’t want to leave, and instead continued to chat with the boys. You mostly talked to Ashton and Luke. Michael and Calum would occasionally comment, but stayed quiet for the most part. It was okay, you figured that they were more shy, or maybe just more tired. When the boys finally received their drinks, they wasted no time in saying their goodbyes, giving hugs to the both of you and wishing you a fun time at their concert before rushing out of the Starbucks and towards a large van that sat waiting in the parking lot. You and (Y/F/N) stood stunned in the Starbucks for a few moments before bursting out into giggles.

“Holy shit,” your friend gasped, “I can’t believe we just met 5 Seconds of Summer! Calum smiled at me and I think I died,” she grinned and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Is it weird if I look at the pictures we took right now?” You asked, and your friend shook her head, speaking animatedly about what'd just happened as you pulled up the pictures you’d just taken with the band.

“I kinda want to post them right now. Do you think maybe they’ll favorite them? Shit! I never gave them my twitter name,” You groaned and your friend laughed, scrolling through the pictures.

“This one with you and Ash is cute,” she remarked.

“Yeah,” you sighed, “we have the same Starbucks order.”

“You’re meant to be,” your friend grinned and you nodded in agreement, thumbing through the pictures till you reached the ones featuring Calum.

“Oh,” you frowned, examining one of the pictures, “He didn’t smile.”

“He never does anymore, at least not with fans.” Your friend shrugged and you frowned.

“But… hm.” You felt a little disappointed, but shook it off as you pocketed your phone and nudged your friend towards the door of the Starbucks. “C’mon, let’s go. We’ve gotta get to the venue to wait in line.”

“Okay,” your friend nodded, following you out into the parking lot and back to your car. The boys’ van was nowhere in sight, and you could feel that disappointment creeping back into your chest. The car was started and the AC was humming when your best friend squealed excitedly,

“I can’t believe we just met 5SOS. I’ve literally been dreaming of meeting them since 2013.”

“Yeah,” you said half heartedly, pulling out of the parking lot. You could see your friend frown out of the corner of your eye.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, and you sighed.

“I don’t know. I just feel kind of… dissapointed.”

“Why? Because Calum didn’t smile in your picture?”

“No. Well, yes. Kind of. I don’t know, it’s complicated.”

Your friend turned down the AC so the sound of it wasn’t so loud, “Wanna talk about it?”

“I guess. It’s just…” you tried to collect your thoughts. “I always imagined meeting them would be some huge thing, you know? Like, I’d meet 5 Seconds of Summer, charm them immediately by saying something witty, and then make friends with them. But that didn’t happen. I met them, and I got to chat with them a little, but in the end I was just another fan. We talked to them only a few minutes ago, but I bet they don’t even remember our names.”

“(Y/N)” your friend sighed, but you weren’t done.

“You know I’m right. They’re nice guys and all, but that’s just it. They’re just guys. I’ve spent years retweeting everything they’ve ever said; commenting on every Instagram picture; sharing every YouTube video, all in the hopes that they would notice me. I don’t even know what I thought would happen if they did notice me, because now they actually have in _real life_ and nothing’s fucking changed.” Your hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. “I just wanted them to want me back. I’d hoped that they would want to get to know me as much as I want to get to know them. I’d hoped that they would want to be my friend as much as I want to be theirs. But they don’t.”

“(Y/N), literally thousands- possibly millions- of people want to be friends with 5SOS. You can’t beat yourself up because they didn’t ask for your twitter handle after one conversation.”

“But that’s just it, (Y/F/N),” you frowned, “There’s not going to be another conversation. I’m not going to get another chance to show them that I’m a person worth knowing. That was my one shot, and it’s gone now. They mean so much to me, they’ve meant so much to me for years, and I mean almost nothing to them.”

“You know that’s not true,” your friend argued, “Ashton thanked both of us for supporting them. They appreciate us.”

“Yeah, they appreciate us as _fans_ but that’s not what I want.” You responded. “I wanted, I _want_ them to appreciate me as a human being. I want to know them and I want them to know me.”

Your friend sighed, “You know that’s not going to happen (Y/N). We’re fans. That's it.”

“I know,” you sighed, and the disappointment in your chest was now accompanied by something that felt a lot like regret. “I’ve wasted so much time pining after them.”

“It’s okay (Y/N),” your friend reached over to pat your shoulder. “I have too. It’s just part of being a fan I guess. Or maybe it’s just part of life. I don’t know.”

You sighed, nodding your head in agreement. You felt tired and heavy with the realization that the band you’d placed your hope in for years was just that: a band. No matter how many times Michael tweeted it, the phrase “real bands save fans, real fans save bands” wouldn’t ever really be true. There was a huge disconnect between you and 5 Seconds of Summer, one that would never be bridged, not unless you suddenly gained a massive fortune or a massive following in the music industry. It'd taken you years to realize it, but now you finally knew: 5 Seconds of Summer couldn’t save you, they were just four dudes from Australia. You shook your head. There had to be something else. Something more than whatever this was.

You sighed once more as you turned into the parking lot of the venue, mumbling to yourself all the while,

“ _I don’t know_.”

* * *

**hi.**

**i wrote this because i got tired of my own tendency to idolize 5 seconds of summer. they're just a bunch of dudes, and i'll probably never meet them, let alone be their friend. and that's okay, because it frees me up to do more important work. like loving the people around me with everything i've got.**

**live for the people around you, not for the people you'll never meet.**

_(that being said, i still like 5 seconds of summer, and i still listen to their music. i'm sure they're very nice in person, and if this came off as some sort of 'i hate how 5sos treats their fans' complaint piece, that's not what it's meant to be at all. i have the sneaking suspicion that the boys are all kind to their fans, even if cal doesn't like to smile in pictures as much as he used to, and i tried to convey that in this short little story.)_

**thanks for reading.**

**love the people around you, be light.**

**-yourinternetkid**


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